Naruto Lol
by SynthroKei534
Summary: Tsunade in love?, Shikamaru a drug addict? HINATA CURSING! Toph thinking herself as HOKAGE! IS THIS A FREAKING PARODY OR WHAT!  NARUTO SHIPPUDEN AND AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER! Rated M for language, violence and the appearance of a very mad flying lemur.
1. The story unfolds

Before reading this go to and watch Go, Go, Parody Rangers! 1, 2 and 3 from Kirbopher or you wont get some jokes from this story. Believe me, you wont. You also need a minor background on Samurai X, Fullmetal Alchemist, and a major knowledge of Avatar: The Last Airbender and Naruto.

I do not own Naruto or Avatar or whatever is copyrighted in this story. Im not trying to screw anyone, just have a good and random time.

Warning: The following story contains coarse language, sexual references, bleeding, Sakura bashing, stolen humor, orgasmic Hyuugas, and it may cause seizures, and the death of the way you saw Naruto before… Enjoy. ._

(SFX: Small birds singing, Wind blowing softly...maybe because somebody was blowing into the microphone).

In a sunny afternoon, 2 very familiar shadows fell on the Fire Nation's big squeaky doors. They slowly opened after a dude with a bad hair day and a really big tissue around his face recognized them. One of them had a big backpack filled with rough sketches with the title: Icha Icha Paradise and scrolls and the smaller one had a smaller backpack, a Konoha hitai-ite around his forehead and a blowup doll in his hand. They entered Konohagakure triumphantly...it was good to be home. (SFX: fart)

(SFX: theme song: Younha - Hakanaku Tsuyoku [LOOK IT UP, its a real song])

-Konohagakure 4:35pm—

As soon as they entered home, 4 different sets of hairstyles stopped Naruto and Jiraiya in their tracks.  
"Welcome home, Naruto. I'd ask you about how was your training but im doing something for Godaime-sama and it would be too troublesome right now" said a medium-height kid with a green vest, and had his hair tied with a rubber band, which had some stains, but Naruto wasnt sure what was it.

"Hey Shikamaru, long time no see!, are you still a virgin or did you already do it with Tema-" was what Naruto could say before Shikamaru put a kunai with an explosive tag already burning near his throat. (SFX: tssssssss)

"Were you gonna say something Naruto?"

"No,no.. *gulp*..im good" said Naruto as a big drop of sweat fell in the ground.  
"Yeah I thought you would say that" Shikamaru threw the kunai in the air, where it exploded. (SFX: BOOOM!)

"Naruto! Narutoooo! HEY NARUTOOOOOO! DINAMIC ENTRY! COME ON! LETS START SPARRING TO SEE HOW MUCH YOUR TRAINING PAID OFF! WE STILL HAVE OUR YOUTH SO LETS NOT WASTE IT ANY LONGER!" said a really muscular boy while Naruto was still trying to compose himself. He looked a little older than Naruto, wearing a green jumpsuit so tight that his eyes were popping out, and had really big eye-brows.

"Hey Lee!, yeah...um...let me drop all my stuff at my apartment and then i'll think about it."

"Na...Na..Naru...Naruto-kun..." said a shy but busty blue-haired girl while playing with her index fingers.

"Oy Hinata, how have you...Oy...OY HINATA!" said Naruto as poor Hinata fell unconscious at the mention of her name or maybe it was the _blow_ on the head caused by a flying box full of gloves.

"Hinata! Gomen!...NARUTOOOOO!" said a pink-haired kunoichi as she sent Naruto flying into Godaime's office. (SFX: CRASH! AND BROKEN CRYSTALS)

"SHISHIO SAID TO GET TO HER OFFICE NOW! YOU TOO JIRAIYA-SAMA!" said Sakura with a mixture of feelings between mad and sorry for hitting Hinata with her box of black gloves designated to Naruto's face.

-Godaime's office—

Naruto opened his eyes slowly still hurting where Sakura had punched him. As he tried to stand up, he felt something big and soft in his face crushing his cheeks and making him unable to breath.

"Im hoping you are enjoying this as much as I am, Naruto" said a beautiful blonde woman, with dual pony-tails and a gray sleeve-less shirt.

*GASP* "Tsunade no baachan, what are this soft- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" said Naruto still feeling dizzy from the fall….and the crash….and the almost asphyxia...yeah thats about it...and then realizing he was grabbing her breasts completely.  
"GOMEN TSUNADE NO BAACHAN, SAKURA HIT ME AND I LANDED HERE, AND I FELL THROUGH THE ROOF AND THEN I GRABBED….SO SOFT…...OH YEAH BOYYY…...I MEAN-"

"Take it easy Naruto. Dont worry im not mad…...im actually...a little sad now that you are not touching them...wanna try that again?"

Naruto's nose opened up and a huge blast of steam came out of it, while he was trying to suck back his saliva-filled mouth.

"TSUNADE-SAMA! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!" said a small, but cute girl carrying some papers and a pig at the same time.

"Oh come on, Shizune-chan. Im stuck in this office all day and I havent seen Naruto in 3 years! I'm fucking 40 something years old, im about to fall in menopause, do you realize how fucking horny I am? I know that you give me "special attention" every now and then but-"

"OK TSUNADE-SAMA! ILL JUST PRETEND I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING OK?" said Shizune turning a shade of red that was only rivaled by Hinata's face or Kurenai's hair.

"GOOD! So come on Naruto! Grab these old woman's boobs!" Tsunade said as she opened her shirt.

But just as she said that Jiraiya, Sakura, Shikamaru, Lee and Hinata entered her office only to fall back unconscious after seeing Tsunade's full breast in plain sight.

"Oops hehe"

-30 minutes later—

Everyone was already up and standing in attention (Jiraiya, Lee and Shikamaru had a piece of tissue up their noses to suck all the blood) in front of the Hokage's desk waiting for Jiraiya to start the report on Naruto's training.

"As planned (He took his tissue off) Naruto and I traveled north to the Sound Village, looking for any tips on Orochimaru's and Sasuke's location. Im sorry, but there wasn't almost any information regarding the matter".

Tsunade bit her lip; an obvious sign she wasn't happy.

"But that doesn't mean that there wasn't any _useful_ information" Jiraiya spoke before Tsunade rolled into her favorite corner to suck her thumb in fetal position and sulk.

"I received intel of an unknown village even farther north of the sound village, where Naruto and myself wandered off to."

At that same time, over the big shiny squeaky doors…. shiiinyyy….. ooooooooh…. shinyyyyyy…..*AHEM!*. Over the big shiny squeaky doors a huge shadow flew towards the Hokage Mansion leaving every shinobi and kunoichi and civilian staring at it.

"It was an icy fortress, surrounded by an unknown sea, where the only way to travel was what we thought to be an Ice Kekkei Genkai platform, but we didn't feel any chakra coming out of it, so we decided to walk there on the water. It was like nothing I've ever seen" said Jiraiya, which made Tsunade stare at the disbelief because she knew how her long time friend traveled.

There was nothing she could think of that Jiraiya didn't know or have seen in his travels.  
He even saw a platypus bear shooting Skittles out of a handgun. Oh yeah.  
"We thought that it would be a ninja village but there was no evidence of kunai or shuriken or even signs of struggle nowhere near the fortress. But there were fierce warriors wearing animal skins that ambushed us and accused us of trespassing. We didn't defend ourselves as we were at fault for trespassing, but nevertheless they cuffed us with…."

"WITH WHAT JIRAIYA?" said Tsunade.

"Ice." said a child's voice outside the window…where there was no platform.

Tsunade , assuming a defensive position, said "Who are you?"

Four figures entered through the window.

A feminine figure with long black hair and 4 small gourds at her waist, a tall figure with a sword on his back and what looked like a pony-tail but rather spiky and messy, a small girl without shoes who stomped just as she entered the room, and a small bald headed boy with an arrow tattooed to his head.

"My name is Aang. This is Katara and Sokka from the Southern Water Tribe and Toph from the Earth Kingdom."

"AND WE'RE TEAM AVATAR" said the guy with a pony-tail. [Sokka: HEY! Its not a pony-tail!, it's a warrior's wolf-tail]. [Correction] said the guy with a WARRIOR'S WOLF TAIL.

"What are you doing here Aang?, its so good to see you!" Naruto said.

"You know them Naruto?" Tsunade asked.

"We met at the Northern Water Tribe, the icy fortress I was just talking about" said Jiraiya.

"Werent you supposed to go visit Katara's grandma in the Southern Water Tribe?"

"Yeah, but Sokka insisted on coming to see your village ever since you told him about Hinata, Anko and Tsunade" said Katara glaring at her big brother while Hinata blushed knowing what they had in common.

"Hey if Naruto told you that there were people like Haru and Jet over here you would've come too" Sokka said while Katara blushed.

Everyone laughed at Katara except Tsunade who called everyone in the meeting to order in a very subtle manner.

"…SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Sumimasen Tsunade no baachan"

"That's ok Naruto. It seems that we have some guest from the Northern Tribe so I'll hold the meeting for later. Go and give them a tour around town Naruto. Jiraiya, you stay. I need to talk with you in private" said Tsunade with her full authority.

Naruto motioned to Hinata, Lee, Sakura and Shikamaru to follow him and walked towards the window and then jumped outside. They were still curious about how the four tourists got into Tsunade's office let alone how they got into Konoha undetected.  
As soon as they got close to the window all of them screamed at what they thought was a monster.

"Don't be scared you guys. It's just Appa. He's my flying cow."

"Isn't that a buffalo, Aang-kun?" said Shikamaru.

"Oh yeah sorry, Shounen Jump fucked us up, and I'm still having difficulties with the language" Aang said while everyone discussed in agreement.

As soon as they leaped in Appa, Tsunade looked at Jiraiya and asked "Did he ever go out of control Jiraiya?"

"…..Only once Tsunade, but we were training alone and nobody got hurt…..severely"  
"What do you mean, Jiraiya?" asked Tsunade who then licked her lips as she saw Jiraiya striping out of his clothing revealing all his naked glory, but with a huge slash already treated from his belly all the way into his crotch.

"Naruto was training to perfect his rasengan, but Kyuubi took control and slashed me almost in half, if it were not because Naruto quickly took control and jumped back." said Jiraiya.

"Oh well….nothing that cant be fixed" said Tsunade as she started striping too.

"Tsu..Tsu…TSUNADE!" was all he could say after she jumped into him and knocked him on the floor and then started to do a series of hand signs (SFX: ff-ff-ff-f-f-fff-ff-fff-ff-ff)  
"KRATOS NO KUSARI NO JUTSU!, HOUSE HIDDEN IN THE SHADOWS!"

Red, hot chains came from the ground and trapped Jiraiya to the floor and the whole office felt like a shadow had taken over. Nothing could be heard outside.

"Tsunade what are you doing?"

"Didn't you hear what I said to Shizune? I am fucking horny, so now shut up and fuck me!"

-In the air above Konoha—

"I've never seen Konoha so beautiful" said Sakura.

"I FEEL ALL MY YOUTH EXPLODING!" said Lee almost about to unleash his 1st gate.

"HOLY SHIT! WE ARE SO FUCKING HIGH! THIS VIEW IS JUST ORGASMIC! said Hinata with a huge grin.

Everyone turned around to look at her at disbelief, especially Sakura and Lee.

"WOW! Check out those faces in the stone? Arent they beautiful?" said Katara all exited interrupting the awkward moment.

"REALLY WHERE?" said Toph obviously mocking Katara, but also letting everyone know the fact that she was blind.

"Oh my Gosh, I'm so sorry Toph. Why don't we go down and walk?" said Katara apologetically.

"Sounds like a good idea, I need to pee." said Naruto and Aang at the same time making everyone laugh.

They landed atop the Hokage's faces and as soon as they got out of the flying cow, I mean buffalo, Toph stared blankly (like always…she's blind duh!) but this time because of her shock as her feet told her the magnitude of the architecture.

"Ok, for once Katara, I think you are right" said Toph as she kept walking around to feel every inch of the stones.

"Hey check this out!" Toph yelled as she stomped the ground and moved her arms like breaking something in mid-air. Shikamaru, Hinata, Lee and Sakura didn't know what was happening, but they soon felt a tremor, and the side of the mountain next to Tsunade's face started to shape-shift and it turned into Toph's face and a hand doing a peace sign.

"IM THE SIX HOKAGE!" she shouted.

"TOPH!" everyone screamed, but then they started to laugh their asses off.

As soon as Toph put the mountain back to the way it was, a messenger hawk flew into Shikamaru's hand.

"OH OH OH IS THAT HAWKY?" said Sokka.

"Ehh….no. A message from the Hokage?" said Sakura.

"Yeah, she wants all of us in her office right now. Says its urgent"

"Iosh! *Mina, lets go!" said Naruto. (*everyone)

-Hokage's Office—

Everyone entered the office somewhat disorderly, but Tsunade fixed that.

"EVERYONE STAND IN ATTENTION IN FRONT OF MY DESK NOW!" she roared making the whole office tremble. They stood in attention faster than you can s- *fart*….yeah it was THAT fast.

"Haruno Sakura, Nara Shikamaru, Hyuuga Hinata, Rock Lee, Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph and Uzumaki Naruto. I hereby order you to give us a demonstration of your progress…..IN BATTLE!".

Everyone was mildly worried about that order except three souls that couldn't contain their happiness.

"LETS SHOW THE HOKAGE THE POWER OF OUR YOUTH!"

"OH YEAH! FINALLY!"

"BELIEVE IT!" said Lee, Toph and Naruto.

"I've arranged the last chunnin exam's arena to be the battlefield. All of you are to report there (SFX: papers rustling) …..in 15 minutes. I advise you to take this time and plan a battle strategy. Good luck. *San!" (*disperse)  
_

Hoped you like the first chapter~! More coming right up! Please review! and as I once saw a very gifted author post : Comments and suggestions are welcome, Flames are used to burn marshmellows.

THIS STORY IS SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO NIMROCHAN! JUST CAUSE SHE FREAKIN RULZ! the name of this fic was inspired by her. Read Fullmetal Lol and you'll see where i got my inspiration. Nimrocahn you freakin rock!


	2. The Chunnin Exams Begin!

-15 minutes later, at the Chunnin Arena—

Since Naruto left the village the Chunnin Arena had been remade into a big stadium. It was filled with shinobi and kunoichi from genin to jounin. Everyone anxious to see the young ones in combat or at least a good ol' cat fight.

"How the hell did everyone know about this so fast?" said Toph.

There was a huge sound of a bong (SFX: bong….yeah just one), and everyone looked to where Tsunade was sitting commanding everyone to shut up.

"We have gathered here today, to celebrate the holy matrimony of this young cou- OH wait wrong book….(SFX: papers rustling, shifting books)….ok got it. We have gathered here today to measure the abilities of these young shinobi and kunoichi and our dear guests from the Air, Water and Earth Nations.  
Let's get ready to witness their power! Let's get ready to scream from the bottom of our hearts! (with a manly voice) LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD MOTHERFUCKERS!"

The crowd went wild, and some of the girls started to take off their shirts and put whipped cream in their bodies. Oh yeah, I said it.

"The first match up! Konoha's Flower Haruno Sakura vs The Heiress of the Beifong Family, Toph from the Earth Kingdom!"

Sakura put on her gloves but felt worried as she didn't want to fight a blind small girl, but Toph only grinned and said "Hey flat-chest! I hope you really are a good medical nin cause I will break you apart"

Sakura got mad and said "WHO ARE YOU CALLING FLAT-CHEST, FLAT-CHEST!"

Right that moment Tsunade said "START!"

Sakura rushed in and delivered her signature punch to the ground sending an earth shockwave towards Toph. Everyone was already waving their goodbyes to Toph when she took a step forward and then stomped the ground with her left foot, and the wave came to a still and turned into a wall. She opened a hole where her face was and said

"oh come on, is that all you've got"

Everyone but Aang, Sokka, Katara and Naruto who were cheering felt in silence as they saw the young girl stop the earth…but then roared at the display of her powers.  
Sakura turned pinker than usual from shame and rage and she rushed towards Toph with no hesitation. She focused a lot of chakra into her right hand (SFX: Sakura's voice = SHANAROOO!) and punched Toph's wall shattering it completely.

She searched for Toph but the blind girl had disappeared behind the cloud of smoke. Everyone in the stadium looked for her but no one could find her.  
Suddenly Sakura felt something grabbing her ankle from below and then fell to the ground and only her head stood outside, her whole body trapped below the earth.

"HEAD HUNTER JUTSU?" said Naruto astonished at her technique.

Toph slowly rose from the earth holding a half-a-ton rock above Sakura.

"Head hunter jutsu? What are you talking about? I just remembered the time when Sokka fell through the earth and that Saber tooth Moouselion almost crushed him" said Toph.

"Are you gonna surrender?"

Sakura tried to struggle her way out, but to no avail. "Ugh, I surrender".

Everyone cheered as Toph helped Sakura out of the earth and walked together towards their seats.

"That was awesome Toph, but how in the FUCKING WORLD DID YOU DO ALL THAT? HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO STOP THE EARTH? HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS? ARE YOU REALLY BLIND OR ARE YOU SECRETELY A FREAKING HYUUGA?" said Sakura with all her neck veins about to pop.

"Well I may be blind but I can still "see". I feel the vibrations in the earth, and I can hear pretty well too, so the second you started yelling I didn't even need to use the vibrations to "see" where you were. And also I can release a sonic wave from my mouth to get a good look at you. Hehe."

Sakura's face turned pink and she admitted her loss.

"But that still doesn't explain how you could stop that rock wave." said Shikamaru.

"Well, I'm an earth-bender. It's kinda hard to explain, but I can "connect" my soul to the earth and use it as an extension of myself. Sorry no one cared to explain it in OUR show." said Toph looking at the camera. (She knew where the camera was using her metalbending)

"THE SECOND MATCH!" interrupted Tsunade.

"From our most noble clan, the young Heiress, Hyuuga Hinata vs The Avatar's Water bending teacher (what else can you say about her, right?) Katara of the Southern Water Tribe"

"Good luck to you Katara-san" said Hinata and gave her a small bow.

"You too Hinata-san" said Katara returning a bow as well.

"START!" roared Tsunade.

-Meanwhile somewhere outside the skirts of Suna Gakure I MEAN the outskirts (sorry)—

"Yo my man. Sorry I was late, I was making jello for my bom-" was all he could say before he had to dodge a metal tail with a fluffy end and the scent of powerful chili and jalape~o.

"My man, watch were you swing that thing, it isn't very artistic, not at all" said a smiling Deidara.

"I don't like to be kept waiting…next time I'll sever your head and eat it with day old guacamole" said Sasori inside Hiruko.

-Back at the arena—

Hinata was on one knee gasping for air, all the trees were completely dry, but still standing like an old tree. There were some kunai and shuriken on the floor of the stadium.

Katara was smiling with her hands and back filled with water, without a scratch.

"What's wrong Hinata-san, can't take a little water?" Katara taunted.

"Yeah *huff* I think *huff* this should do it" said Hinata while smiling.

Katara couldn't understand so she attacked Hinata with all the water she had turning it into a waterfall at the top of her head.

Hinata stood into her Jyuuken stance, and activated her Byakugan, something she didn't do through out the entire match and waited.

Katara unleashed all her water towards Hinata, but as soon as she passed her own hands in front of her, she couldn't see her at all. All she saw was a wet log in her place.

"Where did she-"

"JYUUKEN HOU, HAKKE ROKUJUU YONSHOU!" said Hinata as she unleashed a flurry of open hand attacks at Katara's body.

"2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64!" said all the Hyuugas at the same time with their Byakugan activated.

Katara was falling face first into the ground, but Hinata caught her before she would.  
"Arigatou Hinata-san, but damn you are strong" said Katara.

"Oy, Hinata! Nicely done!" said Naruto as they were coming from the arena.

"Na..Naru…Naruto-k-!" said Hinata before she fainted…but not because she got too shy. It was because Momo threw a rock at her head because she beat Katara.

"HINATA!" said Naruto.  
The rock didn't leave a bump but she still fainted.

LOL.

"Is Hinata-nee ok?" shouted a worried Hanabi, from her seat.

"She's ok Hanabi-chan" said Sakura as she scanned her sister with a medical jutsu.

As soon as they were outside the arena Tsunade started screaming again:

"OUR NEXT FIGHT! Our own Konoha genius against a genius of the Water Tribe. Nara Shikamaru faces off against Sokka! Let the battle….BEGIN!"

Sokka and Shikamaru heard Tsunade but none of them moved. They kept staring at the other trying to read their opponent.

After 10 seconds they started looking at their surroundings looking at every inch of the terrain.

15 seconds after that, both of them moved at the same time.

Shikamaru took a knee and put his hands in a very weird hand sign that all of us remember. Sokka dropped to his knees as well taking out a scroll and a pencil.

After 20 seconds both said at the same time: "I got it".

Both of them rose from their places and stared again.

Like an invisible signal Shikamaru took his entire kunai bag out and threw every kunai and shuriken in the air and Sokka pulled out his sword. The hilt belonged to a Tai Chi sword but the blade itself was curved upwards like a katana, made from an unknown black metal.

As the kunai and shuriken were falling down Shikamaru grabbed them and started throwing them at Sokka. Sokka started beating down every kunai/shuriken with his sword to the left, right up and some down to the ground at inhuman speeds. It was a lot like Sasuke's and Itachi's encounter with the throwing stars. When Shikamaru ran out of kun/shu Sokka dashed forward. Shikamaru saw this and pulled his left arm back, which looked like it was holding something….something….shiny.

As soon as he pulled back his arm the kunai and shurikens that were in the air started flying back towards the back of Sokka. They were being pulled by the strings attached to them. Sokka discovered his technique and dropped to the ground lower than Sheik in Super Smash Bros Melee when you press the control stick down and grabbed the hilt of his sword one more time.

The kun/shu passed above Sokka's head missing him by an inch.

As soon as they did Sokka unleashed his sword so fast that a cloud of smoke build itself in front of him.

Shikamaru was surprised as he saw all those throwing weapons in his direction. He moved his arm outwards sending the projectiles out of his way but he noticed that 3 shuriken were still in course.

Those 3 were thrown by Sokka from inside the dust cloud.

Shikamaru couldn't move in time to get away from their path so he did what only he could do.

"KAGE NUI!"

His shadow obeyed and 3 spikes of darkness rose from the ground and stopped the shurikens by stabbing them through their circle in the middle of the shuriken.

Shikamaru didn't notice that Sokka was already moving towards him sword already in motion towards his neck.

Shikamaru's shadow extended merging with Sokka's as his blade was just centimeters from his neck but stopping it just in time.

Shikamaru had the upped hand right now, but something bothered him. Something wasn't right. "_What did I miss? What's out of place?"_ he thought.

He felt odd…and then he heard it. It was a weird swoshing sound like someone making really loud handsigns. (SFX: f-f-f-f-ff-fff-ffff-ffff-ffffff-FFFF-FFFFFF-FFFFF)

It was getting closer. He allowed himself to look back over his shoulder, Sokka doing the same thing.

He saw Sokka's boomerang in a collision course with the side of his head. He didn't have time to move, he was about to get killed since the black sword was just centimeters from severing his arteries.

Naruto saw what was happening and pinned Sokka's boomerang to the wall with a kunai by one of the holes in the end. (A/N: Yeah this is one of those things that only Naruto, on a made up story can do. He can pinpoint a freaking flying moving object, through the air, spinning in its own axle at 45 mph, with only 1 hole in the back on 1 of its sides, traveling at 35 mph, from his seat, 30 fucking meters away. Yeah. He's fuckin Naruto, he CAN do it. BELIEVE IT! [JUST BELIEEEEEVE!][quote taken from Parody Rangers 3, made by "Jason" The original red ranger].)

"This match is a draw" said Tsunade.

Everyone sheered at the display of pure knowledge and power from these youngsters.

Shikamaru retracted his shadow and Sokka retracted his sword.

Then Sokka started talking with Shikamaru:

"You knew I would beat your kunai and shuriken with my sword and put the strings in them to-

"pull out on them and get you from the back but-

"you didn't expect for me to drop-

"and throw the shurikens from the ground at me after you did-

"the smoke screen, in which at the same time I-

"threw your boomerang to the side taking it out-

"of your visual field."

"Nicely done" said each other at the same time, shaking hands after finishing each other sentences like an 87 year old married couple.

2ND CHAPTER UP! i've had so much trouble with the uploading of these chapters i started to feel like a noob. lol! HOPE U LIKE IT!~!

Comments: WELCOME! Flames: is the visible gaseous part of a fire. You did NOT know that. ... i googled it.


	3. The Battle Continues!

They walked towards their seats as Tsunade started the next match:

"Rock Lee, proud taijutsu expert, Aang the last airbender: to the arena!"

Lee takes a worried look at Aang, and says: "are you sure you wanna do this Aang-kun?"

"Well if you feel worried about it we coul-"

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK TEME! I WANNA FIGHT YOU! KAI MON (gate of opening) …KAI!" said Lee interrupting Aang and opening his first gate.

"BEGIN! Tsunade screamed, taking a huge cough drop because she kept screaming before every stinking match. LoL.

"(high pitched whisper) oh snap. I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT MAN? WHAT NOW?" said Aang.

"Oh yeah! I got it!" said Aang as he opened his Earth Chakra (check the anime, it's the first one. Oh yeah I did my research) by concentrating the base of the spine. His eyes glowed for a moment, but then returned to their original color.

Lee didn't care that he had his weights on, he rushed at Aang with a barrage of fists and kicks, but Aang evaded them all easily. Lee started to get frustrated as he watched how easily the bald monk was evading him that he stopped.

"Something is kinda familiar about how he is evading me….but I cant put my finger in it"

Rock got some distance and kneeled to get his weights off.

Aang stopped and sat Indian style and concentrated doing a weird hand sign.

As Lee rose leaving his weights in their craters (yeah, they made those when he took them off, but you already knew that) Aang compressed his abdomen, his tattoes glowed for a second and he got up as well. He had opened his Water Chakra…..and he took a Jyuken stance.

"What the hell? Jyuken? No wonder his style looked familiar" Lee said.

(A/N: Yes I did my research, Airbending is developed from the Ba Gua Style, known as Circle walking or EIGHT TRIGRAM PALM. LOOK IT UP!)

Aang took the offensive this time and lept at Lee pushing forward a blade of wind with a slash of his hand. Lee got under the blast and threw some kunai (who the hell gave him kunai?) that were lying on the floor from the Hinata-Katara fight. (ooh thank you).

Aang did a 360 in mid-air so the kunai flew past him, but as soon as he looked down, Lee was nowhere to be seen. He fell gracefully on the floor, and looked around but didn't see Lee anywhere.

"How the hell does a guy with such big eyebrows, a GREEN spandex suit and a bowl for a head disappears like that?"

The next moment, there was a trail of dust out of nowhere but you could see a green blur in front of it. The green blur started making circles around the small monk, who just stood in the middle with a "what-the-fuck" expression all over his face. He felt something coming from the back so he turned around only to see some small rocks flying at him.

"Shit! This is a diver-"

Lee appeared in front of him, so as soon as Aang turned around Lee kicked his chin from below sending the young Avatar upwards into the air. As soon as Aang's brain registered the severing pain he was being covered by white bandages.

Lee let a small grin leave his lips as he grabbed the big-ass bald Christmas present, I mean monk, and started spiraling down to the ground.

"SECOND GATE! KYUMON! (gate of rest) KAI!"

Lee spun even faster and they were on a collision course with Mother Nature. Aang realized what his plan was and he sent an air current around him making the bandages open and Lee's grip loosen. Before hitting the floor, Aang took the water on the floor (Hina-Kata fight remember) and made a ball of water below them and said: "SUIRO NO JUTSU!"

All the shinobi stared as they watched the young monk actually DO A KNOWN JUTSU!. All of them just opened their mouth in amazement, except Tsunade who spit her sake in Shizune's face.

The water absorbed Lee's and Aang's fall but as quickly as Aang fell inside, he touched the water and froze it, leaving a Lee-sicle in its place.

"Winner:…. Aang" said Tsunade in shock as he watched the bald monk scratch the back of his head very Naruto-like.

He unfroze the water and Lee fell to his knees shivering, but Aang blowed a little fire and covered Lee's skin with it, but never touching him. Like a fire jacket about an inch of Lee's skin.

Lee got up and said: "That was a most youthful match Aang-kun. Thank you."

"You were really good as well Lee-kun, I almost lost. BUT IF YOU EVER CALL ME A TEME ILL CUT YOUR NUTSACK AND FEED IT TO MOMO! UNDERSTAND?" said Aang.

"H-h-hai"

The crowd applauded as both warriors left the arena.

Tsunade got up her seat and said:

"And now, the final match….He left to train with our legendary Hermit Sannin for 2 and a half years and now he has returned to amaze us all with his progress…. Konoha, I give you…..UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

The crowd cheered and applauded as they saw the blonde boy entering the arena with a smile on his face but inside him he had a question burning to be asked. _Who am I gonna fight? I bet its Kakashi… he's the only one missing from our little group…._

"He will be facing –Tsunade continued- one of our strongest shinobi, an expert in ninjutsu and taijutsu, master of the Sharingan!"

"_Yep, its Kakashi-sensei allright" _Naruto thought.

"I give you….UCHIHA SASUKE!"

(SFX: record scratches)

"_WHAT THE-" " _FUCK?" Naruto thought but then said in a loud voice.

A small leaf passed Naruto's face (in slow motion of course, for dramatic effect) and then a whole vortex full of twirling leaves exploded in front of Naruto revealing a figure in its center (the entrance was about the same that Kakashi and Sasuke did in Gaara's match in the Chunnin exams).

Naruto just stared at the man in front of him. _Did Tsunade no baachan said what I think she said? Did she really say-"_

"Yo, dobe" said the figure. He had raven colored hair; his bangs fell besides his face. His eyes had a distinctive red glow to them. He was wearing a white shirt with long sleeves, some gauntles like the ones the ANBU in his forearms hidden below the sleeves. A Konoha hitai-ite on the right side of his waist, wearing black ANBU pants (no, he is not ANBU, just wears the same shit), some bandages tied to his legs and black opened-toe sandals.

Uchiha Sasuke smirked at the blonde boy who just couldn't say anything.

"You really went training for 2 ½ years to try and bring me back and all you can do once you see me is stare, usuratonkachi?" said Sasuke towards his comrade.

Naruto started to walk slowly towards him, tears flowing from his eyes.

"Damn irritation. I knew I should've use the water drops before fighting"

He cleaned his eyes and newly found determination filled his stare. Naruto was a full fledged ninja. No way was he going to show weakness towards his enemy, even if it was just a match.

"Yeah I did, but it was so I could beat your ass and THEN bring you back. So just try and stay alive ok?" Naruto said with a smirk that immediately Sasuke imitated.

"HAJIME!" said Shizune, because Tsunade was busy staring at the reunion.

Naruto and Sasuke went through several hand seals and both their chest inflated as chakra build in them.

"KATON: GOKKAKYU NO JUTSU!" (Great Fireball)

"SUITON: BAKU SUISHOUHA!" (Exploding Water Collision Wave) Kisame's attack.

A giant fireball was fired at Naruto, but collided with the blonde's water jutsu leaving some steam in the air, but there was still a lof of water in the floor. This told the young Uchiha that his attack was over powered, even if it was by a little.

"Che!" Sasuke groaned.

The young Uchiha started making seals again, this time at a much faster speed and at the same time he started running around Naruto, like Lee did in the previous match. The three tomoe started spiraling in his eyes. Naruto simply stood in place, waiting for the attack.

Naruto was hearing Sasuke's footsteps against the dirt even though he couldn't see exactly where he was. Suddenly, he heard…(SFX: someone inhaling).

Naruto bent his knees a little and started doing hand signs as hell, still not aware where the attack was coming from.

"KATON: HOUSENKA NO JUTSU!"

A barrage of fire bullets rushed towards Naruto from all directions, each one bigger and hotter than 38 DD tits.

"SUITON: SUIJINHEKI!"

Out of nowhere a wall of water sprouted around Naruto, covering him from the blazing projectiles. It wasn't as impressive as the 2nd Hokage's but it served its purpose.

Naruto smirked and went charging against his long-time rival, but stopped in his tracks as he saw his foe releasing a sword with a weird feeling to it. It was long and straight with a black line in its center, it had no guard, and it had a black line in the middle of the silver hilt.

"This is Kusanagi no Tsurugi. This is Orochimaru's parting gift to me. Well he didn't exactly _give _it to me, but you get the idea"

Sasuke looked at his sword with a smile, and hoped to see Naruto shocked at the sight of it, but Naruto didn't show any sign of it. Instead he smiled and reached a scroll on his kunai pocket.

"Hmph!" said Naruto as he hold a one handed sign and channeled some chakra into the scroll. (SFX: poof…yeah, just a poof). The scroll was covered in smoke (why is everything covered in smoke?...there are a lot of questions indeed) for a moment, but then it revealed a scabbard on his right hip, and a long silver blade, with a diamond guard in a 6 point star pattern and the hilt had a red string around it….but something in the blade was off….

"This is my sword, Sasuke. It was given to me by my Kenjutsu teacher, about 3 months ago. Ero-sennin and I met him wandering the Sound Village, and he agreed to train me in his Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu style. His name was Kenshin…..Himura Kenshin. And this is my own Sakabatou (reverse blade sword. Oh yeah! Another addition! But don't worry, he'll just use his techniques but Himura wont appear anywhere. He's too busy dying with Kaoru).

"Hmph." Was Sasuke's only response.

"Koi!" said Naruto, challenging Sasuke.

Both shinobi launched themselves towards the other, Naruto with a downwards slash and Sasuke parrying with an upward one.

"_That dobe, he doesn't know that my sword cant be stopped that way. Oh well I'll just knick him a little bit in the shoulder" _Sasuke thought, but fell into surprise when the Sakabatou did in fact collide with his sword.

"What the hell? How did y-"

"I know all about your sword from Ero-sennin. It has a special way of attacking. Every object that attacks it fazes through it like a phantom. Its one of the Three Imperial Regalia. But what you didn't count on, was that my Sakabatou was blessed by a Mountain Sage and given counter effects." Naruto explained.

"Che!" Sasuke groaned.

They kept swinging their swords, up, down, horizontal and vertical slashes, diagonal swings, but none of them could injure the other.

"Allright this is getting boring…..(SFX: thousand birds chirping)….prepare to feel the real extent of my sword, NARUTOOO!"

Naruto jumped several feets back and sheated his sword into his scabbard.

Sasuke rushed in and he swong his sword downwards towards the crouched blonde.

Just 3 words escaped Naruto's lips sending a warning signal to Sasuke's brain.

"SOU RYU SEN!"

The blonde grabbed the hilt of his sword and did a high-speed swing colliding with Sasuke's powered-up sword.

"_Ha! The speed is impressive but the power is la-" _Sasuke thought, but stopped mid-thought when he saw the hand that had the scabbard hit the back of Naruto's Sakabatou making Sasuke lose the grip in his sword which was sent flying towards the wall of the arena, going right through the rock wall.

"Damn Naruto…..that…..was great. Good for you." Sasuke said with an almost smile on his face.

Naruto's face took an unexplainable look as he processed what he just heard.

"_Did Sasuke just…congratulate me?"_

"Tsunade-sama, I forfeit" said Sasuke looking towards her seat.

"Winner!: UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

The crowd went crazy at the display of power from the young teens. Everyone was cheering and screaming like all of them won a free vacation to Cancun all expenses paid with a very sexy flying attendants tending to their every request. And I mean EVERY request.

As the stadium was emptying, Naruto's and Aang's gang huddled together to discuss what they liked about everyone else's fighting style, asking what they didn't understand (mostly Sakura cause she has pink hair….yeah, there's stupid, moron, dumbass, blonde and THEN pink, so you can see how low she actually is) and what they wanted to learn.

Right then, an ANBU came behind Tsunade and whispered something in her ear. Only the words bird, message and Suna Gakure were heard in his lips. Something was not right.

Tsunade jumped down from her balcony and landed next to them.

"DAMN! MY FUCKING ANKLE!" she said as she healed her ankle cause she fell on one of the holes left by Toph.

_

Naruto Won! Yeah! I was just as ecxited when i saw that... in my mind... while eating Nimrochan's twinkies...out of Al. READ Fullmetal Lol!


	4. Kazenapped!

-5 minutes of healing and cursing later—

"All right, the Kazekage of Suna Gakure has been kaze-napped " said Tsunade at the little group.

"Gaara….." Naruto started getting down and angry at the same time.

"Don't worry Naruto, im sending one of my best teams over there to help with the situation" Tsunade said calmly.

"WHO ARE YOU GONNA SEND, TSUNADE NO BAACHAN?" said Naruto in hopes that he at least knew one of the members.

"Im sending a healer, since im aware that Kankuro suffered from poisoning, im sending a tracking expert to rescue the Kazekage, im sending one of our fastest shinobi below Gai, and one Gennin" said Tsunade hoping that he got mad since she actually didn't say any names.

"WHY ARE YOU SENDING GAI AND HIS TEAM? I KNOW NEJI IS A SCOUT, AND LEE IS REALLY FAST AND THAT TEN…ten…does Ten-ten knows healing jutsu? AND WHO IS THE GENNIN? HOW ARE YOU SENDING A GENNIN TO RESCUE SOMEONE WHO BEAT THE KAZEKAGE?"

"Well if you don't wanna go with Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura im not gonna force you"

"WELL THEN HE IS- what?...oh…Ooohh…OOOOH! TSUNADE NO BAACHAN! ARIGATOU!" Naruto suddenly realized what was happening and gave Tsunade a hug before going towards Team 7.

"Mate, Naruto" said Tsunade regaining her breath "If you are truly serious in rescuing the Kazekage, you're gonna need back up."

"….You're right. What team are you sending to help us?" said Naruto.

"I've thought about this while watching them fight, and I've decided to declare Aang, Katara, Sokka and Toph temporary honorary members of the Hidden Village of Konoha, and officially name them Team Avatar for the rest of their stay" said Tsunade as a smile lit up Naruto's face.

"YEAH! BELIEVE IT!" Naruto screamed as he jumped one fist shot to the air. "We're gonna save Gaara for sure!"

- The next morning -

"You all set?" asked a masked silver-haired shinobi, wearing a standard Jounin vest, with his hitai-ite covering his left eye.

"Hai Kakashi-sensei" said Sakura looking at the teams.

Tsunade was at the big shiny gates again (don't…don't look at the shiny doors….AAAGH!) and was waiting for them to move out when inspiration struck her.

"Hold up. Team Avatar is going to need a captain. None of my shinobi knows the full extent of your powers so someone of you needs to be the captain" said Tsunade looking at Team Avatar.

"I nominate Aang!" said a hopeful Katara.

"Well I nominate Sokka" said Toph, just trying to mess with Katara.

Tsunade assessed the situation and said: "Jiraiya, what do you think?"

Everyone but Kakashi looked confused. _Where was Jiraiya?_

Out of Tsunade's shadow a figure rose, turning into the spiky haired pervert.

"Well I think Sokka would be the best choice. I know Aang is powerful and the Avatar and everything, but he's just a goofy kid. Sokka has the intellect needed for a job like captain, he possesses leadership, knowledge and by what I heard in the invasion of the Solar Eclipse, he was the one who made the most important desitions" Jiraiya added coming out of her shadow.

"Well its settled then. Sokka, you will be the acting captain of Team Avatar"

"BOOMERANG GUY STRIKES BACK!" said a grinning Sokka, poking Aang in the head with a very pointy stick…he made Aang's head bleed.

"Allright no more chit-chat, lets get going" said Kakashi.

Both teams head out to Suna at full cow speed: They went on Appa. (it makes no sense having them run all the way now, does it?)

For some reason Katara gets up and starts saying:

"Thank you for choosing Air Bison Lover as your method of travel for today. The duration of our flight is unknown since we've never been to Suna. We got some free nuts, bending water, a lot of rice and steamed sea prunes. Please fasten your everything because we got no seatbelts. There is 1 exit on the front (Katara points in between Appa's horns), there are 2 on the sides, and one on the back (points to the tail). In case of an emergency Aang will provide us with oxygen, but don't panic. The fact that you cant see the air doesn't mean is not there (oxygen bag joke. If you've never been in a plane you wont get it.). Please look to the back because the nearest exit might be behind you….in the behind….*snorts* hehe *snorts*. In case of a water landing please pull the fur on Appa's back and his tail will act as a slide. Be warned, Appa might be cranky and squash you like a bug with its tail. Thanks again for choosing Air Bison Lover as your method of travel and we hope you have a pleasant tr-"

"YIP-YIP! YIP-YIP! STOP THE YAKKING WOMAN! DAMN!" said Kakashi as Appa flew and Katara fell on her face.

Once they were gone a shadow fell behind Tsunade as soon as they left.

"Take your team. Follow them. Don't let them know about it though" said Tsunade seriously.

The shadow grunt in acknowledge and left.

- In the air -

"….And then Ero-Sennin and myself decided to return to Konoha." Said Naruto after he explained in a small summary.

"No wonder you beat me. It looks like you trained until you dropped everyday. And I bet a lot of tips from Aang and Katara helped you master Suiton jutsus." said Sasuke looking at Katara and Aang.

What really surprised Naruto was the was this group was sitting.

Kakashi and Toph were on the back of the co- (Aang: BISON! BISON SYNTHROKEI! IT'S A FUCKING BISON NOT A COW! SynthroKei:…..sorry) of the GREAT MYSTICAL AND POWERFUL SKY BISON!. Kakashi was reading his book and Toph was sleeping. In front of them was Sokka, polishing his sword, then there was Naruto (looking around), and then there was Sasuke holding hands with Sakura and then Aang and Katara on the bison's head in an arm lock.

(SFX: record scratches)

"HOLY SHIT! WHEN THE FUCK DID SASUKE AND SAKURA GET TOGETHER? said Naruto leaking a little bit of Kyuubi's chakra 'cause he was about to blow into his 5th tail all at once from the emotions. Oh yeah, he was THAT surprised.

"Hihihihi, yeah, I never gave up on him and once he returned I greeted him with…um…um…y-you go ahead and t-tell him S-Sasuke-kun" said Sakura turning pinker than her hair.

"She hit me in the gut, kicked me in the groin, beat me half to death and then she had sex with me in front of the ANBU that were about to arrest me. Hehe. Tsunade-sama forgave me after I told her about Orochimaru's death. I brought his real (Snake head) head as proof. I still have him absorbed in my head, and he isn't going to use his snake body anytime soon. Umm…we still spent some time in jail for sexual exposure since the ANBU didn't do anything to stop her, they just kept watching but I saw the grin behind all of their masks. And I could've sworn that I saw one with a video-camera recording, but I had a pink haired kunoichi sucking me so I kinda kept staring at her ( it's a parody, they can have a video camera in 2,435 B.C. for all I care)". Sasuke said remembering the moment and turning pink as well.

In that same moment Aang and Katara both screamed: "INCOMING!"

Blazing balls of fire were being shot at the bison, while Aang maneuvered to evade them.

They were coming from the same spot.

"Lets land! And see who's doing this!" Sokka commanded.

They landed the flying cow/bison and looked at the clearing were a young man, no older than 25, stood. He had black hair, tied in a knot behind his neck, a large black cloak with red clouds embedded into it. He stood motionless, only one hand visible hanging from the inside of his cloak. His red eyes ready for the encounter.

"Uchiha….Itachi" said Sasuke growling, his blood boiling in anger, but he remained with a calm exterior.

Sakura looked at the man and said to herself: "_This is the man that has made Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun's life a living hell…..im gonna castrate him and then put an exploding tag in his ass….motha fucka" _

Kakashi jumped down pulling his hitai-ite in mid-air and said: "don't look into his eyes! Only Sasuke and I can do it."

Sasuke activated his Sharingan….the long awaited moment of his life was in front of him.

He made the first move: "ITACHI!" Sasuke blasted towards his brother, grabbing and retracting his sword from its resting place.

"It seems I can't take it easy on you" Itachi points at Sasuke with one finger "Sasuke".

_

GO ITACHI! I cant wait to see what happens next on the manga! im not spoiling anything, you just need to read the manga before i saw anything that WITHOUT A DOUBT will happen. COMMENTS! = ICE CREAM! FLAMES! = GUANO!


	5. Uchiha Itachi

Sasuke charges his sword with lightning and severs his brother in half and leaves a dust cloud after the sword cut the kage-bunshin and blasted the ground.

When the smoke cleared up Sasuke looked around. He didn't recognize where he was.

The ground was black, everything that was supposed to be clear was darker, all in shades of black or gray… except one part…..the sky…it was red with black clouds hovering in its bloody appearance.

"Shit! I've been here before. Right when this motherfucker had me pinned down when I went looking for Naruto on episode 85"

"That right. And now I have you….Sasuke.

Sasuke turned around and saw….nothing. Only the voice of his brother.

Sasuke took a deep breath and stood still. For 2 hours he didn't hear anything.

He then heard Itachi taunting:

"_Were you not going to kill me?"_

"_Im waiting for you"  
"You still need more hatred"  
"What a pitiful container you turned out to be"  
"I need to get my nails done"_

"_oops sorry. Threatening thoughts, threatening thoughts, threatening thoughts…ok I got it"  
"(SFX: spooky ghost voice) wooooooooo"_

Sasuke tried to ignore his brother but then he felt a blazing sword making his way from the back towards his left lung.

"Agck!" then another another one pierced his left leg "GACK!". After that a black sword pierced his right arm "AHHHHHHH!"

"_Only one/15 of a second since I trapped you and you already look so weak. Pathetic._"

Sasuke looked at himself, but didn't find anything at all. No blood, no cuts, not even his clothes were torn.

Sasuke spent the next 20 hours under this treatment until he closed his eyes….

(A/N: HE HASN'T DIED YET! STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS AND KEEP READING!)

He made every bit of his chakra go into his eyes and brain. Itachi kept stabbing but Sasuke wouldn't even flinch. He was concentrated on the task at hand.

He started to open his eyes slowly revealing a powerful set of ruby orbs with black tomoe on them. In a scream to the red heavens he made all his chakra explode in a second.

"!"

Everyone gasped as they saw Sasuke hit the ground 5 seconds after Itachi pointed at him.

Kakashi went to his side and grabbed him before anything else happened.

Itachi appeared out of nowhere grabbing his exhausted, holding his right eye as if it was about to explode like microwaved boiled egg. (A/N: I did it at work, it was funny as shit)

Everyone tried to use that moment to attack but Itachi spoke:

"If I cannot trick you into believing you got stabbed and burned *Itachi takes out a black sword* then I will make it a reality" said Itachi as he looked at his sword, opened his left eye and said in a hurtful voice, like it pained him: "AMATERASU!"

His sword was engulfed in black inextinguishable flames. Kakashi threw some kunai at Itachi, and he beat them down with his sword. Once he hit them, the kunai burst into flames, and disintegrated on the spot.

"Damn. What can we do? We can't get close to him because he'll use his Amaterasu Blade, and we cant be too far because he'll focus his Tsukuyomi. Damn!" said Kakashi as he tried to analyze the situation.

"You think you are so tough? Get over here, woman!" said Toph realizing that his **eye** technique (tsukuyomi) is not effective against her.

"I'm a guy" said Itachi, his right bloody eye twitching.

"oh….ok. IM STILL GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT!"

Toph opened a hole right below Itachi's feet and then sent a rock towards him in mid-air where he could not protect himself. Toph smiled a little when she felt the impact of the rock with him (Toph as evolved into a powerful earthbending master, she can feel the earth and metals even if its not touching the floor. Earth bending. Hell yeah.) but it soon vanished when she felt Itachi disappear.

"What the hell happened?" said Toph.

"HE USED A KAGE BUNSHIN! TOOOOOOOPH WATCH OUT!" Kakashi explained and warned.

Itachi reappeared behind her and was already in mid swing of his sword trying to cut down Toph. Suddenly he was flying to the side, when an air blast hit his side.

"Thanks Twinkle-toes."

"No problem Toph" said Aang with a smile on his face.

Itachi recovered from the blow very quickly.

"My patience is wearing thinner than a stripper's g-string." Said Itachi wiping his blood from his lip. (A/N: It actually came from his eye, but if more visually dramatic to wipe it from his mouth. And also some of it came from his nose, after he imagined a stripper in a g-string. Yeah. Visually. Visually Dinamic. Viiiiiisually. Ok moving on.)

Itachi let go of his sword (much like Kuchiki Byakuya before Bankai) and before it hit the ground he had already made enough hand sign to make a girl cum, and he summoned just 1 bunshin with the same Amaterasu Blade.

The kagebunshin ran towards Toph.

"Oh no you don't!" said Kakashi, who started launching a barrage of kunai against him". Of course the clone just kept running and the kunai just phased through. (A/N: it's a bunshin: clone not a kagebunshin: shadow clone. It doesn't have a physical body)

When he came withing striking distance Itachi made a one handed sign and Aang felt the bunshin STEP in the ground.

"What the fuck? Said Aang. But immediately he understood that the bunshin turned into a kagebunshin after Itachi did the sign. The now KAGEbunshin slashed against Toph and no one could stop him, but Toph unleashed that trademark smile (A/N: you know, the one where she smiles but you cant see her eyes, just her smiling mouth, yeah that one.) of hers and when the blade was about to touch her, Itachi stopped. Or so everyone thought.

In reality, Toph used her metal bending to stop the sword in its track so she didn't receive any- (SFX: BOOOM!) Itachi's clone blew up. Everyone panicked: "TOOOOPH!" But when the smoke cleared there was a stone lifted in front of a scared-as-hell Toph making it evidently that she didn't do it. Then who did?

When the smoke cleared a little bit more, there was a figure kneeling behind Toph. It had pink hair and a very small breast. (A/N: I love that word. Breasts. *giggle*). It was Sakura, who delivered her signature punch to the ground from right below Toph's feet just in time.

"You think that was all I did with so many handsigns?" said a creepy voice behind Sakura.

Behind the standing Itachi, 150 kagebunshins jumped from the bushes and ran towards every single member of the Naru/Aang gang. Kakashi had Sasuke on his back so he couldn't fight effectively, he just jumped out of the way of the exploding Itachi's as all the other one did.

Itachi was frustrated that he couldn't use his Tsukuyomi or his Amaterasu Blade on Toph, so he decided to use his most devastating technique.

It couldn't be felt by the blind girl and she was still in so much shock that she wouldn't have time to react to it.

Everyone was busy at the moment so it was his chance to get her. With just one word he planned to seal her fate.

"Amaterasu"

Fire raged from 2 inches in front of his face and it was directly going towards Toph. Nobody could do anything….just watch.

"TOOOOOOOPH!" Everyone said for the 513,849th time since her birth. Yep, she counts them.

But something strange happened. Something was not right. Itachi was focusing his Amaterasu on Toph's flat breasts (A/N: I like saying breasts) but it didn't connect.

It was like someone was commanding it to stop. Like someone was….bending it.

Itachi grunted as he couldn't keep his Amaterasu and from the bushes a figure came out walking. Nothing was on his hands but he still looked like he was carrying something with his hand extended. He had messy brown hair, red clothes with orange touches to the fabric. And he had a scar on the left side of his face. Zuko, the Fire Nation's firelord.

"Firelord-sama….wha-what are you d-" said Kakashi amazed at what he is seeing the Fire Nation's most influential person do.

"ABOUT TIME YOU GOT HERE ZUKO! WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU DOING DAMN IT?" said an angry Naruto still evading and jumping around because of the exploding Itachi.

"Sorry Naruto! Its kinda hard to explain but I'll tell you as soon as we're don-"

"HELL NAW! YOU GON' TELL ME RIGHT NOW MOTHAFUCKA!" Naruto screamed very pissed off. "I DON'T CARE IF YOU WHERE EATING A BIG MAC ON TACO BELL, WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU DOING THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT!"

"WELL MEI HAND-CUFFED ME TO THE BED AND THEN SHE FORGOT SHE HID THE KEY INSIDE THE HILT OF THE WHIP! HAPPY NOW?" screamed Zuko with his face red.

(SFX: small wind gust)

Everybody stopped fighting. Even Itachi stopped exploding his clones for a second, but then he remembered he needed to stop them and started blasting again.

Everyone was dodging the exploding Itachis, even Aang with his airbending had trouble keeping them at bay. Naruto couldn't do anything against them since he specializes in physical fighting his jutsus or techniques had no effect on the bunshin-kagebunshin clones.

All except Zuko. He was holding the Amaterasu with one hand and with the other one every explosion that happened near him was utterly compressed. It was more like a firecracker than an explosion. Zuko sucked all the oxygen around the explosion and he could minimize the fire blast from the explosion so all that was happening was a waste of chakra on Itachi's part.

Naruto watched in amazement as the Firelord controlled the Amaterasu.

"What the- I THOUGHT THE AMATERASU BURNED EVERYTHING IT TOUCHED! EVEN FRIKIN FIRE ITSELF!" said Naruto amazed.

"Well you just said it. _Everything it __touched!_. I've never let it touch me, I'm just bending it around me….*Zuko looks at Itachi* Guess its not a flawless technique, girlie" Zuko said towards Itachi.

"Why do you insist I'm a girl? I'm a guy. Ask Sasuke. Ask Kakashi. Ask anyone" said Itachi with a very frustrated look.

"And how exactly can I vouch for you being a guy? I've never seen you naked Itachi." Said Kakshi making a weird face under his mask.

"Well, did you really think that when I trapped you in Tsukuyomi all I did was stab you with swords?" said Itachi who then licked his lips towards Kakashi.

"Oh. Ooh….OOOH! OH FUCK! OH SHIT! OH GOD NO! MY ASS! OOHH FUUUUCK! HELL NO! YOU'RE SICK! YOU'RE SO SICK YOU BASTARD! OH FUCK! OH MY GOD! OH FUCKING SHIT! MY AAAAASSS! DAMN YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH! OH FUCK! FUCK YOU CREATOR OF YAOI!1 I HOPE YOU BURN IN FUCKING HELL WHILE ANOTHER GUY FUCKS YOU! OH SHIT! NO NO NO!" screamed Kakashi who then passed out, but you could see a little foam from the side of his mask. Apparently he had a seizure.

Everyone threw up a little in their mouths…..except Sakura, who had a little orgasm.

"Konoha's Copy Ninja, Sharingan no Kakashi, one of my nation's most powerful shinobi. I'll make you pay for this….. Itachi" said Zuko with rage.

Zuko unleashed hisAmaterasu on Itachi, who released his own back towards Zuko. The clash of Amaterasus created an intense heat and made Itachi lose his concentration so his clones disappeared. Naruto and Aang saw this opportunity, looked at each other, nodded and proceeded to attack.

Itachi was busy countering the Amaterasu flames from Zuko, but he could still spare a glance towards Naruto and Aang to consume them, but Zuko was in on his plan and everytime he looked at Naruto or Aang, he would take the flames and hold' em back.

Aang and Naruto were running at Itachi, then Aang stopped and started hitting the ground with his feet while Naruto started making seals. After his 15 hit he jumped and stomped the yard (A/N: pun intended) who made the earth surrounding Itachi rise from all of his sides, trapping his arms and legs inside a rock sphere.

"What the hell is this? I can't see any chakra in the ground" said Itachi scanning the rocks with his sharingan.

"That's because there isn't any" said a voice behind Itachi, but the voice sounded like it came from 2 diferent places at once. "There is none…except this! FUUTON: OODAMA RASENGAN!" Everything inside the sphere felt apart, including Itachi. The rocks were shattered and his body looked like….like…..oh fuck it I cant find any good fucking jokes for it. It looked like shit, allright?

His right hand landed in the tree, his right leg was completely blown, and everything else was stuck to the torso but pieces had been torn off.

Sasuke woke up because of the blast, he still was a little weak. Kakashi changed masks (A/N: Even I don't know how he does it) after waking up. All in all everyone started feeling better.

They went to check Naruto, since he was also trapped with Itachi, but Aang pointed out that Naruto was hiding in the bushes and only 2 kagebunshins made the Oodama Rasengan and blew up. (A/N: He's the hero damn it, if he's gonna die I'll make it more dramatic…)

Sasuke went to check on Itachi, but his body (or what was left of it) started blowing off steam, and it started changing.

"W-w-what the….hell..?" said Sasuke, as he saw the body turn into another ninja, with a sand Hitai-ite on his left-bicep.

"Damn, I knew there was something wrong with his reaction time" said Kakashi.

"Oh well fuck it, lets go save the Kazekage or are we gonna stay here and throw him a funeral? Said Toph.

"Yeah, you're right. Lets get out of here." Said Zuko.

"Yip Yip!" And with that they were off…..but something in the picture was wrong….there was someone who never said a word…he just….watched. He felt completely worthless. He felt like Godzilla after they killed her babies. Just useless and moody.

_

WOOOHOO! 5 chapters uploaded! it took me forever to do this thing. (3hrs) JUST UPLOADING? IM FREAKIN SERIOUS! 1st of all,... im at work! 2nd! It took a while to figure my documents out, BUT I GOT IT! and 3rd... IM OUT OF IDEAS! (well i got some but since my computer died because of an unnatural accident, i cant write! so i cant get inspired at work either! I just need some time to get my mind together cause i have the layout in my head but the dialogue is not that easy, when you have to take 10 characters into account without counting the evil dudes and animals. ... THIS IS A FIC! IF I WANT THEM TO TALK THEY'LL TALK! hahahaha hoped u keep reading! COMMENTS = HOT CHOCOLATE ON A COLD DAY. FLAMES = PAMELA ANDERSON'S SAT SCORES... EXACTLY! NOBODY CARES!


	6. A Bender is Born

A bender is born

-In the air near Suna Gakure-

"Why was Itachi waiting for us? How could he know that we were the ones flying through the air?" said a confused Sakura.

"A little bird told him" said Sasuke.

(SFX: SMACK!) Sakura bashed him in the head. "This is serious Sasuke…. And how come you are making jokes about it? We're talking about the guy-"

(SFX: SMACK!) Sasuke smacked her back. "I wasn't making a joke woman! A little bird actually told him! He uses freaking crows! You think he doesn't have surveillance wherever he is?

"…..oh….. Ow." Said Sakura.

"There's no point in discussing this any further. Lets just get to Suna.". said Sokka.

Everyone that knew him looked at him with a worried look.

"Are you okay Sokka? You seem kind of… umm… gloomy" said Katara as Aang made a rain cloud and it started pouring just on top of Sokka.

"Aang stop it! Just leave me alone ok?" said a mildly wet and angry Sokka.

"Sorry, it just fitted perfectly, but seriously Sokka, whats wrong? You're supposed to have a happy dance everytime we beat a bad guy. Its practically a rule. Final Fantasy has that song and victory pose, Pokemon has the you-just-beat-a-trainer song, and Mario has to go down the pole. Why aren't you cheerful?" said Aang.

"Well you just said it. [Everytime WE beat a bad guy]. Go back to the last chapter of Naruto Lol and tell me what I did." Sokka told everyone.

(A/N: Please wait a minute while Naruto, Aang and the others go back to the last chapter to read what happened in the fight and what Sokka was talking about. So while you wait, please enjoy this incredibly intricate and elaborate song I heard the other day.

nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan  
nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan  
nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan  
nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan

OOOH! HERE'S MY FAVORITE PART!

nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan  
nyan-nyan-NYAN-NYAN-NYAN-NYAN!

Ok I think they're about done. Lets get back to the AWESOME! story. )

"I don't actually see anything Sokka. Where were you?" said Naruto.

"I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING! I WAS GUARDING APPA AND MOMO! LIKE I ALWAYS DO! IT SUCKS TO ONLY BE THE IDEA GUY!" said Sokka mouthing words like benders, and chakra and why cant I be that cool and what not.

"Sokka… you should've told us." Said Katara.

"I FREAKING DID! BOOK 3, EPISODE 4, SOKKA'S MASTER? RING ANY BELLS?" said Sokka with his sword in hand about to slice some Melon-Lord.

"Oh." .replied Team Avatar.

"Lets land for a second. I got an idea." Said Aang.

"MOOOOOO! Said Appa which could only be interpreted as NO FUCKING WAY! I'VE BEEN FLYING MY ASS OFF AND YOU JUST WANNA FLY AND GET DOWN AND FLY AGAIN! FUCK YOU!"

"pop-porop pop pop porop pop" said Momo which could be translated as Indubitably old chap. This moronic imbeciles cannot comprehend the subtleties and intricate maneuvers and dexterities that you need to develop for the simple process of flying. Honestly, these humans are rather slow in their evoluti- OOH! A NUT! Nom nom nom."

"You were saying?" said Appa to his friend.

Appa landed near a mountain and green pasture and the gang got off. (duh)

"If that is your problem Sokka, I think I can help you out now." Said Aang.

"How? I don't want any weird stuff-this-up-your-nose-or-other-holes experiments" said Sokka fearing for his ass virginity.

Kakashi shuddered at the thought since he just went through a traumatic experience a chapter ago.

"Simple. I'll just reverse what I did to the past Fire-Lord, and maybe I can pull out a bending ability of yours." Said Aang.

Sokka's jaw almost made a hole in the ground.

Toph used earthbending to lift his jaw back up from the ground.

"Now stand straight, relax. Let me enter. Take deep breaths" said Aang.

Kakashi used his Doton Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu to get underground since what Aang was saying sounded a little close to his new found trauma.

"OH GO TO HELL KAKASHI!" said Aang.

Aang and Sokka stayed silent for a few seconds. Then Aang slowly started to change to his light blue color, but Sokka still wasn't showing any signs.

Aang was seriously stressing, but after a while of defeating Ozai he practiced this new found power, so he could still speak in his trance-like state.

"Im getting closer….. I cant feel his energy, but I cant tune into it yet" he explained in his Avatar-Voice. (A/N: that voice he uses when he's in avatar state… I hope this explanation was unnecessary because if its not, then you probably don't have any clue as to what Avatar is. And no, its not a bunch of blue tall aliens.)

"Wait…. I think I got it."

Everyone was watching attentively. Even Kakashi popped his head from the ground to see what would happens.

Suddenly Sokka started changing to a light white… then he began to turn into a complete yellow to orange to red until Aang stopped and fell backwards feeling the weakness of such a technique.

"Looks like I still need a few touches in this" said Aang getting up.

"Are you feeling okay?" asked Toph a little concerned.

"I …. I feel fi-fi-fi- AAACHO-BOOOM!" Sokka sneezed and about 20 feet from him an explosion occurred…. Right next to a scared shitless Appa.

"Wooh…. Did I do that?" said a still surprised Sokka.

"Yeah! I figured out that your genes were closest to a fire bender. I got the same feeling I got from Ozai and Zuko." Aang explained "but you have no experience being a fire bender, and since you are already this old, you have enough energy to make big fires, but you still lack control."

"I'll take care of that." Said Zuko "Lets go on foot for a while. This might actually help us out in finding the Kazekage, and since you guys were flying, we actually made a pretty good time."  
"Wait a minute….. I just realized something" said Sasuke. "How did YOU get here Fire-Lord?"

Everybody had a "how-in-the-hell" look in their faces.

"Well I got here in the Eel-hound. How do you think I've been keeping up with Appa?" said Zuko.

"Yeah, but how did you know where we were, or why were we going to Suna?" asked Sasuke,

"Well… I think the author fucked that part up" said Zu-…..(A/N:… my bad)

"Anyway, lets just walk for a while. You guys go ahead. Ill see if I can help him out" Zuko hinted.

-20 minutes later, entering Suna-

(SFX: BOOM! BOOM! BOOOM!)

"Aaargh! Why cant I get this right? (SFX: BOOM!)" said an impatient Sokka exploding for the (please put random number of explosion's here) time.

"It's only been 20 minutes Sokka. I trained Aang for days even AFTER he learned the secret of the dragons. Fire is not something easily controlled." Said Zuko trying to calm down his friend.

"But he should have some sort of improvement at least. But he isn't showing any changes." Said Kakashi after inspecting the fire-noob.

"What would Uncle say?… I remember him saying that lightning is pure fire, without anger. Its only achieved after long control and peace of mind, but when I was trying to learn in, I blew up several docens of times." Said Zuko remembering Book 2 "I believe Sokka's innate impatience makes him only able to explode instead of breathing calmly, which is the base of fire making"

"So basically, (in that really boring speech) you said that Sokka is only able to make explosions?" Kakashi analized. (A/N: hehe….analized.) (Kakashi: NOOO! I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING ANAL RELATED!)

"Pretty much" said Zuko.

"Oh yeah! Now I gotta think for a cool name to go with it… Sokka the double Boom guy! Right? Boom as in explosions and also in boomerang? Get it?"

Everyone just kept walking to the desert.  
"Aww come on! That was pretty good!" Sokka continued. 


End file.
